第五密度新人類

Dear Mr. Carpenter,

I give thanks for your guidance.
首先，我要謝謝你的指導。

I began study ACIM during the early eighties. Prior to discovery of ACIM I was into spiritual searching for some time. Since I can remember, I always wanted to understand myself. I am a transsexual. I was born with a female body but had always felt I should be a male since the earliest childhood. I had surgeries done twenty some years ago and have lived successfully as a male since. The surgeries I had did not completely change my physical body due to lack of funds and surgical technique at the time.
我在1980年代早期開始研修奇跡課程。在我接觸奇跡課程之前， 我已經開始靈性探索了一段時間。 從我有記憶以來， 我一直想要瞭解我自己。 我是一個變性人， 我生為女人身， 但是在童年時期我就覺得我是一個男性。 在二十多年前我動了一次手術順利的成為一名男性。 但是由於錢不夠， 再加上當時的整型技術有限， 那次手術並沒有完全改變我的身體。

My life has been a constant struggle. Luck seems to elude me. It seems that I am always alone by myself. I am a single child. I did not have a father while growing up and I grew up with an emotionally abusive mother. I have no relationship with any relatives. I supported myself since I was sixteen. I have always been plagued with deep devastating depressions. My life experience and outlook has taught me that life is full of suffering, and hardship, joy and happiness are rare. There were times I wanted to kill myself to end the suffering. I did not commit suicide because of my interest in spiritual teachings and the hope that maybe I can find happiness and joy in this life. From all the spiritual readings I learned told me it is not possible to escape suffering from suicide. When I learned of this I was very disappointed. So, begrudgingly, I realized that the only way out of my suffering is through self-realization.
我的生活一直都在掙扎中度過，好運始終與我絕緣。 我好像一直都是孤單的一個人。 我是家中唯一的孩子， 我在沒有父親的環境下長大， 而我的母親常嫌我，簡直有心理上虐待狂。 我和任何親戚都沒有來往。 我從十六歲開始就自力更生。 我經常為深沉的憂鬱所苦。我由現實經驗學到的人生觀是：人生充滿了痛苦和磨難， 歡樂是難得的。 我常常想自殺來結束我的苦難。我沒有自殺，是因為我對靈性世界的嚮往，期待在這一生中找到我的幸福和快樂。 所有我讀過的靈修書籍都告訴我自殺並不能幫助我們逃離受苦。 當我瞭解這一點時， 我非常失望。 我知道想要脫離受苦的唯一途徑就是通過覺悟。

I am determined to success in this endeavor. I need help now. ACIM resonated to me. I wanted to not only study it myself but felt I wanted to help others especially Chinese people to know it too. One of my desires for the past twenty years has been wanting to be with Waterlike (Chiao lin) to learn more about ACIM and help other Chinese who would be interested in ACIM.
我決心要在這道途上成功。但是我現在需要幫助。奇跡課程引起了我的共鳴。 我不但自己研讀， 而且我也願幫助其他的人瞭解它， 尤其是中國人。 我在過去20年來的願望就是和若水老師一起學習奇跡課程， 並且幫助其他對奇跡課程有興趣的中國人。

However, I have not been able to manifest anything I wanted in my life. I feel very despondent over this. None of my dreams and desires has come true. Life and hope seems to slip away from me…I wanted to establish a good career and business. I am talented in my work. However, due to bad economy and unfortunate circumstances involving a couple of bad contractors with projects I was responsible for, I suffered greatly financially and in my career. My career just seemed went down hill from there. I watch other architects with less than my talent receiving good commissions and recognition where mine just sit there. My marriage of 23 years broke up. My mother's hatred toward my ex-wife certainly did not help toward maintaining my marriage. Towards the end of my marriage I got involved with a woman who was an emotionally abused woman and needed lots of help and support. Now I see nothing but hardship for the future in our relationship because of our own unresolved baggage.
然而， 我所有的夢想和願望從來沒有在我生活中實現過。 生命和希望好像始終從我身邊溜走。 我想成就自己的事業。 我在我的工作上很有天分。 但是， 由於景氣不好和運氣不好， 再加上一些建築方案的合作對象不好， 我在事業上也賠了不少錢，事業一落千丈。 我看著其他才能不及我的建築師都賺很多錢而且獲得認可， 我卻什麼也沒有。 我23年的一段婚姻也破裂了。 我母親對我前妻的憎恨對我婚姻可說是雪上加霜。 在我婚姻的最後一年, 我結交了一個情緒受到嚴重創傷的女人， 需要很多的幫助和支援。 現在我看得出我與她的未來險阻重重，因為我們兩個都有個人未解決的包袱。

I had an unsuccessful surgery for a sever sleep apnea condition and should have another one. During the last one and half year I have been severely depressed and tired. I am on anti-depressant medicine and I feel physically out of energy. I lost my house during the divorce and am not able to afford to buy another house. I have been living on my savings and it is running out and I am scared. I would like to complete my sex change surgery but that is not realistic now either. I am almost 53 years old now. I haven't established a career and I am starting all over again. It looks like I lost the best opportunities in my life. I am physically, financially, emotionally, mentally all wore out.
我最近又動了一次手術， 仍然不太成功，需要重做一次。 在過去的一年半當中， 我有非常嚴重的憂鬱和疲倦。 我在吃抗憂鬱症的藥， 而且我覺得完全沒有體力。 為了離婚，我變賣了自己的房子， 再也沒有能力購屋。 我一直靠積蓄維生， 花得已經差不多了， 我也感到恐懼。 我想要完成我的變性手術，可是現在也是不可能的了。 我將近53歲了， 我未能擁有自己的事業， 而現在必須一切從頭開始。 看來我好像已經失去了我人生中最好的機會。 我的身體、財務上、情緒上和心理上都很疲倦了。

I pray daily to Jesus, Holy Spirit and God. I surrender myself to God everyday. I tell myself I must have faith. I beg God to help me, to hear me, to talk to me, everyday. I pray that God to help me to be loving and forgiving. Why haven't I see any change for the better? I ask God everyday to tell me what does He want me to do? I am willing to do anything for you. Help me to hear God.
我每天都跟耶穌、聖靈和上主禱告。 我每天都臣服於上主。我告訴我自己必須要有信心。 我每天都求上主幫助我， 聆聽我， 向我說話。我祈求上主讓我更有愛心， 更能寬恕。 為什麼我看不到一點點正面的變化呢？我每天都求上主告訴我祂到底要我做什麼？我願意做任何事。 請幫幫我讓我聽到上主的聲音吧！

I don't know what to do. I don't know if my dreams or desires were God's will for me? It seems I need to have a stable career and income to be able to do the work with Waterlike. Which I don't have. I was told by an astrologer that I should teach. But I don't see any opportunity like that happening. I do enjoying teaching. I was also told by the astrologer that if I move to another time zone I should have better income. But I don't know if this is God's will for me. I enjoy my work, I am very creative in my work, but which I believe is not very marketable in my area, and I don't know how to market my work. I do organic architecture. I want to know what God wants me to do.
我不知道該做什麼。 我不知道我的夢想和欲望是不是上主給我的旨意。 我好像應該有自己的事業和收入才能和若水一起工作。 但是現在我什麼也沒有。 一個占星家告訴我，我應該教書。 但是我看不到任何教書的機會。 我倒是很喜歡教書的。 占星家也說， 如果我搬到另外一個地區的話， 我的收入會比較好。 但是我不知道這是不是上主的旨意。 我喜歡我的工作， 我在工作上很有創意， 但是在我住的這裏好像沒有我的市場， 我不知道怎麼樣推銷我的的作品。 我做的是"環保有機建築"。 我想知道上主到底要我做什麼。

I would like to know about my relationship with this woman. I do love her. But it looks like to me she is not ready or willing to have a relationship the way I envisioned. I am now working on myself to just love her unconditionally and not expecting anything from her in return. This has been very difficult to do, but I am working hard on this. I'd like to know what kind of Karma I have with this woman.
我也想知道我和這個女人的關係會如何。 我很愛她。 但是我不覺得她能以我想要的方式交往。 我現在試著無條件地愛她而不求任何的回報。 這是非常困難的事， 但是我很努力的在做。 我想知道我和她之間的緣分到底是如何。

Why am I not able to manifest any of my dreams? I believe I have been working very hard in spiritual work. I am a more forgiving and loving man than I ever was. Yet, I am still plagued with depressions, hopelessness and despair. Even with this, I am clear that reaching God and to be a self-realized man is my main goal in life. My faith is stronger than before. But I do need help.
為什麼我無法實現我的夢想？我相信我在靈性追求上算是非常努力的。 我現在比以前更有愛心和寬恕的能力。 但是， 我還是為憂鬱、無望和沮喪所苦。 即使這樣， 我很清楚：找到上主和成為一個醒悟的人是我生活的主要目標。 我的信心比以前堅固。 但是我真的需要幫助。
Mr. Carpenter, can you talk to God for me? I need help. 親愛的湯姆先生， 可不可以幫我跟上主溝通？我需要幫助。

George

Dear George,
I have received your letter and feel the pain and torment which has defined your life in such a way they often seem insurmountable. I want to assure you, however, that not only is it possible to change your life, you have already begun that process by reaching out for help. Something within you that is not yet quite definable knows there is a peaceful, joyful way to experience your life, or you would merely accept things the way they are and not search for something else. Trust this feeling for it will help to bring about the changes even more quickly.

親愛的喬治：
收到了你的信，可以感覺到你的痛苦和折磨已經到了難以忍受的地步了。 然而， 我向你保證：你不但可以改變這種處境， 而且藉著尋求幫助，你其實已經開始這轉變過程了。 在你內心某個無可名狀的智慧其實很清楚： 是有一種平安而喜樂的生活方式存在的。 若非如此， 那麼你只可能認命而不會尋求出路的。 信任這種感覺吧！它會加速你生活的轉機的。

While I do understand your pain, for all who share this world have it in one form or another, there is something else I see in you that you are unaware of and will initially find difficult to accept. I see a lovely flower blooming in pure joyful radiance, anxious to share the beauty and joy it feels with everyone. This perfect creation was born in love and innocence as an integral part of all Creation, and will forever remain so.
I tell you of this vision as a reminder, for it, being the truth, is already in your mind but buried behind many layers of guilty misperceptions you have dreamed about yourself.
我誠然瞭解你的痛苦， 我們在這個世界上的人多多少少都在承受不同形式的苦， 但是我在你裏面看見了一些東西， 你可能不知道， 而且目前可能也很難讓你接受。 我看見了一朵美麗的花在純然歡樂的光彩中綻放著， 急切地希望和每個人分享它的美麗和歡樂。 這個完美的創造是在愛和無邪中誕生的， 它是所有創造的一部分， 而且始終如此。 我與你分享我見到的這神秘景象，只是為了提醒你， 這個真相早已在你的心中， 卻被埋藏在許多你自己充滿內疚的錯誤認知之下。

You have been told things similar to this for some time, but have previously thought of this image of beauty as a fantasy to reach for, something to be attained which your ego belief insisted was beyond you. It is time now for you to understand you cannot attain what is already true about you. Your path is not one of learning how to change yourself, but how to see past your misperceptions to the truth that has never changed. That is the purpose of learning the forgiveness process as taught by A Course in Miracles.

Knowing that what we now believe is not the truth is the first step in changing our beliefs. The second step is feeling empowered to actually change our mind, to know that it is only our own decision that is necessary. We obviously cannot do this while holding others responsible for what has happened in our lives. This is most difficult to overcome in the ego belief system for being a victim of others beliefs and choices is central to all it other beliefs.
你其實已聽過很多人給你類似的勸說了， 但是你覺得這美麗的圖像只是一個永遠遙不可及的夢。 事到如今，你該設法明白： 你永遠無法「變成」你已經「是」的東西。 你的靈修之旅不是去學習如何改變自己， 而是學習去跨越你不正確的自我認知， 看到那個永遠不曾改變的真相。這就是在奇跡課程中要你學習寬恕的目的。 能夠覺察出自己執著的一些人生信念並不是真理，這便是改變我們信念的第一步。 第二步就是瞭解到我們自己的決定才是最後的關鍵，而鼓起勇氣與力量去改變自己的心念。 顯然，如果我們還要別人為我們的遭遇負責的話， 我們就做不到這一點了。 我明白，在小我的信念體系裡， 要克服「自己是別人信念和決定下的受害者」這個觀點是相當困難的。

Another part of feeling empowered to change our mind, while knowing we need not be victim to others choices, is to realize it is our beliefs that make up our experiences. Those beliefs not only control the meaning of what happens, which determines our perception of the outcome, they literally create the circumstances of our experience as well. You were brought up in an environment which gave little value to being a female child. This suited your beliefs of low self-esteem from prior lifetimes and made it easy for you to accept this evaluation. Your feeling that you should be a male was the first awakenings that it was possible to choose to be something of value. Being rejected by your mother further influenced your leanings. Being "like" her was far from satisfying. It actually had nothing to do with sexual inclinations, which is why you have had difficulties in that area in your relationships.
知道了我們不必成為別人的抉擇下的受害者之後， 另一個給自己力量去改變心念的方法是， 知道眼前的經驗是出自自己的信念。 這些信念不僅控制了所有發生的事件的意義， 也決定了我們對事件結果的看法， 它們具體地創造了我們所經驗到的一切。 你生長在一個很不看重女孩的環境裡， 這不過反映出你前世非常低落的自我價值感， 因而讓你此世很容易接受這種價值觀。 你覺得你應該是個男的，這是你選擇變成「有價值」的第一個自我覺醒。被你母親拒絕的經驗，又進一步地影響你這一生的的學習經驗。 這使你不想活成像你母親那樣的女人， 這實際上和你的「性別傾向」是沒有什麼關連的， 這也說明了為什麼你這一生在人際關係上屢屢出現問題。

All of your struggles from early childhood to now have come as a result of what I would characterize as one form or another of self denial; the choices always resulting in feeling punished or abused in some fashion. Please do not believe that "luck" or chance had anything to do with it. That only serves to further rob you of the power of your own choices.
你從小到大的掙扎是來自某種我稱之為「自我否定」的結果， 你做的人生選擇帶給自己的常是一些懲罰或虐待。請不要相信「運氣」和「機會」，它和你的經歷扯不上關係， 你這樣想，只會更深地剝奪了你自我選擇的力量。

As I said to you before, I have reminded you of an image of yourself that is true. This is also what A Course in Miracles does and that is why it resonates with you, as the way to let what the truth is return to your awareness. That process is the one of forgiveness. I must say to you, however, for it to be effective you must be willing to commit to it, to do it consistently with every occasion in which guilt and fear arise. The effectiveness of the power of forgiveness is measured by how much it releases you from fear and guilt and restores peace and joy to your experience. And the extent to which we are ready and willing to receive peace, love and joy is the extent to which we are willing to give it.
我先前提醒你你那真實不虛的完美形象， 這正是奇跡課程所要告訴你的。你對奇跡課程的共鳴， 就是因為你已經感受到這是讓你回到自己真相的一條路。 也就是寬恕的本意。 然而，我必須提醒你，如果要讓這個課程對你產生具體效果的話， 你必須誠心地承諾， 你要恆心地在每個罪疚和恐懼生起之刻提醒自己。 寬恕的力量有沒有效果，完全憑著你要讓它幫你去除多少恐懼和罪疚而帶回平安和喜樂而定。 我們準備好並且願意帶給人平安、愛和喜樂的程度， 就是我們願意去接受這些美好特質的程度。

Forgiveness suspends self imposed judgment. It is the acknowledgment that we are ready to accept our self, and we demonstrate this thru our acceptance of others; not in spite of what they / we have done, but because we can see it was simply a mistake we both have made about what was really true. This in the beginning is hard to value as what will change our lives because we do not recognize it is only our beliefs that make our lives what they are. That is why it is so essential that we experience the changes that occur when we change what we value. We must see how the suffering and hardships of fear and guilt begin to disappear from our experience as we release others from the guilt of our judgments. We must experience first hand how others do not judge us as we stop judging them. This is the message of A Course in Miracles. The Workbook section is the detailed, "how to" change your belief on a daily, step-by-step basis. It will accomplish exactly what you want it to if you take it literally and do as it suggests.
寬恕能夠切斷你對自己的批判。 這是我們準備好要「接受自己」的一種聲明， 這要透過「接受他人」來展現。 「接受」不是說不在意別人或自己的所作所為， 而是知道那些作為只是出於不知道自己的真相所犯的錯誤而已。 在一開始我們很難相信這種認知能夠改變我們的生活，因為我們尚不明白：「是我們的信念造就了我們的生活現狀的」。 這是關鍵所在：當我們改變我們的價值觀時，我們的生活必會隨之改變的。我們必須看見：當我們不再對別人批判，釋放他們的內疚時，自己因恐懼和罪疚所生的痛苦折磨也逐漸消退了。當我們不再批判別人的時候， 別人也停止了對我們的批判，這需要親身的體驗。 這就是奇跡課程的核心訊息。 學員手冊詳細解釋了如何在每日的生活中一步一步的改變你的信念。 如果你認真的按照它的建議做練習的話， 它會帶給你真正渴望的東西的。

The one for you to begin the forgiveness process with is your mother. You must begin to realize that her "abuse" of you in truth had nothing to do with you. She too was simply buried in her own guilt and self-denial and was reacting to her beliefs of worthlessness. She, as we all do when our fear is great, projected her sense of worthlessness on to you, as her mother had done to her. You now have a wonderful opportunity to break this cycle by denying the truth of worthlessness for everyone. What your mother was searching for is the same thing you are searching for - to know that you are loved. What holds you both back is the perception of being unlovable, the appearances of our behaviors in the world, which always come as a result of believing there is something wrong with us. Joining with her in knowing you shared a common goal will make the attainment of that goal a certainty for both of you. She may or may not accept it in the time you do, but that is not important. It will be there when she is ready to accept it. What is important is your learning that the appearance in the world of the manifestations of our beliefs does not change or influence what is actually true. But seeing past these appearances - acknowledging you no longer choose to believe they are true - will release you from their effects, bringing peace, love and joy to your life.
你可以從你的母親開始練習寬恕的過程。 你必須開始瞭解她對你情緒上施加的虐待其實和你個人毫無關係。 她也是埋在她自己的罪疚和自我否定當中， 把她「無價值感」的信念投於外。她和我們所有人一樣，承受不了巨大的恐懼時， 不能不把她自己的無價值感投到你身上； 就像她母親對她的態度一樣。你現在有一個絕佳的機會來中止這個惡性循環，就是幫助你所遇到的每一個人否定他們自認為「無價值的真相」。 你母親和你追尋的東西完全一樣：想要知道自己是被愛的。 讓你們兩人都經驗不到這一真相的原因在於你們都認為自己「不配」的那個感受，我們在世上所有的表現在在流露出我們認為「自己問題很嚴重」這種信念。 你若能和你的母親聯手，為同一目的而努力，你們一定會達成目標的。 剛開始時，她可能無法接受， 那不重要。她有她的時刻， 重要的是你慢慢學會看到了， 出自你信念的那些世界表相，影響不到真實的實相。 你只需超越這些表相， 且聲明你決定不再相信它們的真實性， 它們便左右不了你的命運， 你的生活便重歸於平安、愛和喜樂。

I admire and respect your desire to become a teacher of God. There is no reason for you not to do this right now. Your desire to do so is the only requirement. Your willingness to listen to the Voice for God within you is the only source you need to rely on to do all that needs to be done. The most effective teachers are those who have a strong desire to learn and have the willingness to trust their inner Voice to lead them. I can see that you can do this and encourage you to be open to try.
我很欽佩你想要成為上主之師的嚮往。 沒有任何理由阻止你現在就去實現你的夢。 你這意願就是成為上主之師的唯一條件。 你想要聆聽內在聖靈之聲的意願，也是你完成理想所需的唯一資源。 最好的老師是最有熱忱學習並且願意去聆聽聖靈指引的人。 我預見你有此能力， 並且鼓勵你放手一試。

There is nothing in your life experience now that will not change as you begin to see past your guilt and fear, whether it is depression, sleep disorder, trouble earning money or having better relationships. All of these things are symptoms of your fearful beliefs and will change as you change the way you see yourself. Do not be tempted to think that your "luck" will be the same as it has been. Expect that things will change, because they will. Practice teaching others they deserve to be happy and have abundance in their lives. This will help you to realize this is also true for you.
只要你肯試著放下自己的罪疚和恐懼， 你目前的處境沒有一樣是改變不了的， 無論是憂鬱症、失眠、賺不到錢或是有一個比較好的伴侶關係。 這些只是你恐懼信念所投射出的症狀，你一旦願意改變對你自己的看法，它們就會隨之改變的。 不要老是認為自己一直很倒楣，不妨預期一下它們的改變，因為它們一定會改變的。 同時試著讓別人明白，他們也配擁有快樂和豐足的生活， 這樣可以幫助你經驗到，你跟他們一樣值得的。

The last thing I would like to clarify for you is why, when you seem to be "working so hard" to achieve your spiritual goals, you do not seem able to "manifest your dreams." To understand this you must remember that it is your beliefs which are the mirror for your experience. Until those beliefs change it doesn't matter what you do or how hard you "work." When your thoughts are based on guilt and fear your experiences will unfold to serve the purposes of guilt and fear. It is these beliefs you must surrender to the truth God offers you. Do not worry about the effects of karma. It has no power of its own. The only power it could have over you is what belief you invest in it. It has only seemed to have great effect in your culture because it is a belief greatly empowered because there are so many who share it and so it is used as an explanation to further justify guilt. Do not subscribe to any belief that seems to allow anything to happen to you against your will.
最後，我要為你澄清一個觀念：為什麼當你好像很「努力」地追求靈性成長， 卻沒有辦法實現你的夢想。 要瞭解這點，你必須記得， 「你外在的經驗只是反映你內心信念的一面鏡子而已」。 如果你不先改變自己的信念， 無論你做什麼或是多努力都會徒勞無功。你的思想若是出自罪疚和恐懼， 你所經驗到的一切事物都會如實地反映出那罪疚和恐懼的。 所以你必須把舊有的信念交託到上主的真理中， 不要擔心所謂業力的問題。 業力本身是沒有力量的。 它之所以能夠控制你，是因為你投注在它上面的信念。 似乎只有在你們中國文化背景中，因著那麼多人相信，業力才會對你們產生那麼大的作用， 也讓罪惡感一個最好藉口繼續衍生下去。 絕對不要接受「厄運會不請自來的」這類信念。

God's Will for you is perfect happiness, which you will come to know as what is true about you becomes more evident. God wants you to do whatever in your perception will make this easier to achieve. He can use anything you bring to Him to teach you that you are perfectly loved. You should grow accustomed to making choices based upon whether or not they will make you happy. A happy learner learns much more effectively than one who is not happy. Begin now to find and nurture the Presence of God within you. Allow the Course to teach you how to find the beautiful flower you have hidden in your garden of thorns. Never doubt God's faith in you who is His perfect creation. You are perfectly lovable and perfectly loved.
上主的旨意是要你有全然的喜樂， 當你愈來愈清楚自己的真相時，你就會明白這一點的。你覺得什麼方法最容易達成這個目標，上主要你現在就放心去做。 只要你肯把問題交託給祂，祂就會證明給你看：你是全然被愛的。 你應嘗試朝著「什麼能讓你更加快樂幸福」這個方向去做選擇。 一個快樂的學徒會比不快樂的學徒學的更快更好。 現在就去尋找並滋養上主臨在於你心內的經驗。 讓奇跡課程教你如何在那充滿荊棘的花園裡找到你藏匿的美麗花朵。 永遠不要懷疑上主對你的信心， 因為你是祂完美的創造。 你是如此的可愛， 並且完美地被愛著。

Blessings, Tom Carpenter
祝福你。
湯姆。